My Attitude

Alright, alright...you're all wondering about my temper tantrum, huh? Well, let's just say this Christmas could have been better. Where do I start? Ah, yes...

I left off with my sister in law's visit, which was wonderful. The next weekend, the first weekend in Dec, my mother in law came to visit, which was equally wonderful. We went to Bronner's, which is the largest Christmas store in the world, and bought the world's smallest Christmas tree, which was fun.

The next weekend started all the drama. Friday, Dec 12th, I took our cat, Max to the vet. He had a blocked bladder and required sedation to get the cathiter in and all the pee out. $$$ We compromised with a one day observation at the vet, and then careful observation at home. He started eating like a champ, and is doing alright now.

Sat, Dec 13th. Dave was on the computer and saw a drop of water fall from our drop ceiling. Well, it turns out our Christmas tree stand got a hole or crack in it and was slowly leaking on to the blanket it was sitting on, and then through our hard wood floors, which are now slightly warped, and through the drop ceiling directly in to our printer. We just laughed. What else could we do? So Dave got that all cleaned up and purchased a new printer with scanning and copying capabilities with the Christmas check we received from my Grandma Stobie in the mail that day. Haha God...you're a funny guy! While at work, I got a call from my mom saying my Baba (grandma) wasn't doing so great. She ended up passing away a few hours later.

Sun, Dec 14th. I had to work, but Dave and I wanted to pick up a few small things for his family for Christmas. So we're at Pier One and I get a call from a friend. She told me about these two small girls that needed to be adopted in to a Christian home. Would we consider this? I was so shocked I told her I'd have to call her the next day to get more information. Phew! What a weekend!

Mon, Tues more work. Tues night drive to Buffalo, Wed Baba's wake, Thurs funeral & drive back home. Friday major snow storm. Phew! I was exhausted!

Since then, we met these two little girls and decided not to adopt them for a variety of reasons. The little girl we were researching with medical needs in Russia is being researched by another couple who will have the first choice of adopting her. Because of differences between me and my husband, we are very limited in the ethnicity of children we would be willing to adopt. Plus, our adoption agency sent us a letter saying the economy is causing greater delays in all adoptions.

Great. So maybe I won't be a mom this year...or ever. At least I won't believe it until it happens.

Thus the spiritual temper tantrum...

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Kicking, screaming, finding the floor, crying "IT'S NOT FAIR", thrashing limbs

Sigh. I'm in the midst of a major spiritual temper tantrum. More to come later....

Thanksgiving Fun

The week of Thanksgiving was interesting, to say the least. I got sick Sunday and got progressively worse until Tuesday. I couldn't breathe, my throat hurt, and I was having a hard time sleeping. And, of course, this couldn't have happened at a worse time. I have my Bible study on Mon and Tues mornings, I had to work Monday, and prepare for my sister-in-law and her family to come in to town. But I have a wonderful husband who supported me as much as he could during this time. He bought me medicine, didn't make me feel bad for not cooking, and let me lounge next to the garbage can so I could throw my thousands of snot rags in the trash easily.



By Wednesday I was feeling better, and looking forward to seeing my family. I prepared the full Thanksgiving meal...turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, gravy and stuffing. I loved every minute of it! My sister-in-law, Wendy, arrived Thursday afternoon with a hungry bunch. Tony is her husband, who is Italian and gave us some home made Italian spagetti sauce (Mmmmm.....) and her boys are CJ, age 9, and Sam, age 6. I haven't seen them since the summer...I couldn't believe how tall they were!!! I enjoyed smothering them with kisses and hugs and catching up on their activities. CJ plays hockey with a traveling league and is really good. And Sam is learning to read...I can't believe it! I love to hang out with Dave and Wendy. They have such a goofy and fun relationship...it's good to see Dave enjoying himself with his sister and her family. I didn't have much time with them because I had to work Fri night and Sat morning. We had lunch and then off they went.



Dave's Crohn's is getting progressively worse. I really don't know what more to do for him. He's now eating chocolate shakes before bed to try to gain weight. He has no energy, and is in constant pain. The pain meds he's on aren't cutting it anymore, so we're going to look in to experimental procedures/medicines to see what we can find. I'm growing more and more concerened about his health and the lack of resources we have at this point. But God is good and He will guide us to where we need to be with this.



Our cat, Max, isn't doing so great either. His arthritis is bad more than it is good these days. We find him in odd positions unable to move. And I'm having to feed him his dinner. I don't know how much longer we should keep him alive. He's stuck in the back room of our basement while we're gone because his brother, Fritz, attacks him...silly cats!



Thanksgiving week was also the last week the Ukraine was going to accept dossiers for 2008 adoptions. Apparently it was a very competitive time. I guess I wasn't surprised to not be submitted, but a little disappointed. We have to wait until the first week in Feb to hear any news now. But somehow I'm not heartbroken about it. It just feels like good timing. We couldn't afford to go to the Ukraine right now anyway, so we can get more fundraisers going in the mean time.



One of the things I've noticed about this school year is that I'm really struggling with my walk with the Lord. I haven't been able to pinpoint where my walk got off line. My prayer life isn't what it should be, and I don't devote myself everyday to digging in to God's word. My excuses are that I'm working now, and I have a lot going on in my personal life. My husband is ill, my grandmother is dying, my youngest brother is rebelling, and my children are still not with me.



I'm learning a lot in BSF's life of Moses study. Moses didn't become a humble leader totally dependent on God over night. He struggled even in the wilderness with God's "obstinate" people. I prayed on the way home from work Mon night that God wouldn't punish my discussion group because of my disobedience in prayer, that God would bless them all by encouraging them to be at class Tuesday morning. We're learning about the building of the Tabernacle. How majestic and beautiful it must have been! God is so good and so worthy of our praise and adoration. But we must come to Him recognizing that He is holy, and we are sinful. And because He hates sin I must consecrate myself by confess my sins daily, hourly, ASAP to be acceptable to come before the Holy God. I also need to recognize that I can't approach God in a halfhazard way. What do I do to prepare to worship Him on Sunday mornings??? After my plea to God Mon night, I had a wonderful time Tuesday morning with my ladies. I'm convicted every week in some area of my walk. Growth is what I want and God desires of me. And the more I learn, the more I'm responsible for. Sigh. Maybe I should stop learning...(Just kidding!)