About Me

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My husband and I, the Dynamic Duo, have been married since 2003. We've weathered the storm of chronic disease (diagnosis 2006), infertility (diagnosis 2007), turning 30 (2006/2007 respectively) a first adoption (2009) of a tender hearted, compassionate Ukrainian BIG boy (born 2006), who has told us he'd like a baby sister, baby brother, big brother, and REALLY big sister. We recently completed our second Ukrainian adoption journey, which brought us a daughter (born 2005). We'll see what else God brings our way!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Stay At Home Moms

I've been having some struggles lately so I thought I'd express them and see what kind of response I get.

I don't work. By work I mean bring in any kind of income. At all. I don't sell make up, nutritional supplements, kitchenware or jewelry. And I don't have any kind of part time job that would include my son. I don't coupon cut or ebay, nor am I all that great with budgeting the money Dave gives me for the groceries each week. I told Dave before we got married that I wouldn't marry him unless he committed to supporting me as a stay at home mom, only working if it was necessary. And he has.

I have to point out that I don't need to work. Dave is not in jeopardy of losing his job, and we are living well within our means. We have a modest house in a great neighborhood and no expensive hobbies (Ok, so my shopping COULD get expensive if I let it).

I volunteer my time...I LOVE helping others in whatever way I can (yes, I offer FREE babysitting to anyone willing to drop off their kids at my house!) and I hate being paid for it. I live in the church during the year, helping out wherever I can (although I've cut back a lot since Eli came in to the picture!)

But a Christian wife's example, the Proverbs 31 woman, earned money and sewed for her family.
Proverbs 31:16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

Proverbs 31:18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

Proverbs 31:22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Proverbs 31:24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

I guess some days I feel lazy, like I'm not doing enough, like I should be busier doing something for my family. I can count on one hand the women who don't work outside the home. I'm sure I'm being unrealistic with myself. But sometimes it's lonely being a stay at home mom in a working mom's world :(


The McEacherns said...

I'm a SAHM, too!

Chris and Celeste said...

Our pastor actually talked about the Prov 31 woman. The verses you quoted can also talk about taking care of your family, making sure their clothes are clean, laundered, mended. I am a stay at home mom and know that is what God would rather I do. If I worked, I wouldn't have a home cooked meal on the table at night, my hubby would have to help with the cleaning of the home, laundry, grocery shopping etc. Or we would have to pay someone to do it. You have the important job of training Eli in the way of the Bible, Verse in Deuteronomy about training a child when he sits, walks, lays down etc. It does get lonely sometimes but that is why you need fellowship with other moms. MOPS is a good way, Biblestudy or play groups at your home.

alisonadona@hotmail.com said...

I'm usually a SAHM too but currently started working fulltime for one month.

Even as a SAHM my husband helps me around the house with laundry, loading the dishwasher, watching the baby, cooking dinner, and even washing the floor. We are a team and we just work together to get things done and then we have more time together as a family. I love that he is just as willing if not more willing to serve his family as he is those we attend church with. I agree that it is important to raise your children and not leave it up to someone else but with saying that I find I still need to do something for myself and grow and aspire to greatness. The Lord didn't not create a nobody!

While you are a SAHM do things to continue to expand your mind. Toddler conversations do not really do that for us and teaching moments come throughout the day but not in every moment. Our children learn so much from watching us.

I chose several years ago to have my own business with Mary Kay. Being out of my home only a few hours a week does not mean I'm less of a mom. Actually I believe the skills I've developed through the training I've received has taken my life in a more well balanced lifestyle. I learn optimism, goal setting, time management, to take care of my appearance(which can only help the marriage), as well as so much more!

I love the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ and He is the center of my universe. I often sing hymns to my daughter, even in the middle of the night if she's restless.

You only can decide what you need to do to feel fulfilled. Many woman are content with being there 100% for their children which is wonderful, however, one day they grow up and what is left. Just don't be the clinging or overbearing mother that can't let go because it's all she has known. I can't see you ever being that person but it does happen. I think it is wonderful that you have made service a priority in your life. You are a beautiful person and mother.

The McGowans said...

Don't worry about feeling lazy for too long! There is plenty of work to be done, and it only increases as your child(ren) get older. I know it is harder to feel you've made the right decision when you are surrounded by people who all work, but if you and your husband are convinced that this is a season of your life that you are free to focus on your family and serving others, then what a blessing! Plus, it sounds like you are redeeming the time in Bible study, which is something that you will reap blessings from for many years to come. Don't grow weary in doing good, sister!